I want this: Petite Lap Giraffe

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I am allergic to cats and dogs and basically anything with fur/dander.  Yes, I spent my childhood and now adult life not having pets other than reptiles and amphibians, both of which are admittedly unfun and unloving.  Shed your pity tear right about now.

I think I have finally found a solution to the "man's best friend" void that has plagued me for years.

Question: Do giraffes have dander?

I bet they don't.  Therefore, I am putting a petite lap giraffe on my wish list.  Hell, I may even bump it to the top.  Apparently I am number 341,152 on the waiting list for one from Sokoblovsky Farms.  I hope he/she gets here in time for all the fun of summer.  What we could do together - beach day, runs on the lake, patio dining, barbecues, weekend getaways, mojitos on the porch...

Get here soon, little buddy.  Get here soon.