I am allergic to cats and dogs and basically anything with fur/dander. Yes, I spent my childhood and now adult life not having pets other than reptiles and amphibians, both of which are admittedly unfun and unloving. Shed your pity tear right about now.
I think I have finally found a solution to the "man's best friend" void that has plagued me for years.
Question: Do giraffes have dander?
I bet they don't. Therefore, I am putting a petite lap giraffe on my wish list. Hell, I may even bump it to the top. Apparently I am number 341,152 on the waiting list for one from Sokoblovsky Farms. I hope he/she gets here in time for all the fun of summer. What we could do together - beach day, runs on the lake, patio dining, barbecues, weekend getaways, mojitos on the porch...
Get here soon, little buddy. Get here soon.